Giving up control

All kinds of issues coming up lately on the control issue.  Discussions, situations, challenges, problems, disagreements... you name it and it's gone down over the last few weeks.

In my case, the majority (although not all) of these issues have occurred in my current "day job", which involves working in the technology sector.  With Oracle databases to be specific.  This means that I work with a lot of application developers and 3rd party software packages, none of which I have any direct control over.

So guess who gets the call a lot of the time when something blows up in the middle of the night, or when some part of a rather large and complicated web application isn't working properly?  You guessed it -- yours truly.  Why?  Well, unfortunately I have a "gift" (or a curse, depending on how you want to look at it) for being able to diagnose and fix things.  All kinds of things.  So I end up getting a lot of people pinging me for help with things.  It's horrible.

Anyway, all kidding aside, here's the key question:  what percentage of the issues that I "need to fix", do you think are actually a result of something I personally did (incorrectly or not)?

Sure, once in a while I'll muck something up -- we all do-- but generally speaking, I'd estimate that probably 95% of the time I spend fixing/researching/diagnosing, is a result of issues and decisions that are totally out of my control.

I bring this up not to go off on some "poor me" diatribe, but rather to share some thoughts on how to deal with it.  How to deal with a situation for example, where somebody makes some ill-advised technical decision (which you repeatedly counseled them not to make) and then when the situation inevitably melts down -- and you are requested to cancel all of your weekend plans with your family and help fix a mess you didn't create -- how do you deal with that exactly?

Or how do you deal with a commodities trade where you're short a bunch of call options on Sugar, and all of a sudden there's a panic-driven surge in the sugar market, which of course happens the day after you get into the trade, which causes the price of sugar to skyrocket and you're watching paper losses pile up faster than a crab running from a gumbo pot?

Well, I can tell you what I do.  It's actually the opposite of what a lot of people do and think.  Most people will panic at some level, and start to try and "do more", or "go faster", or "double their efforts", to try and wriggle their way out of the situation or throw the problem over the fence into somebody else's lap.  And predictably, these approaches in many cases just make the situation(s) worse.

The first step is kind of a prerequisite, but it's a vital step, in my opinion, to successfully navigating this road we're all on.  And that is learning to accept that annoying things are just going to happen.  They just are.  It's part of life.  And when they do, you need to make sure you don't flip out and get all emotional, and make a jackass of yourself (whether in private or not it doesn't matter).  It's important to accept this, and adopt a professional attitude toward it all, our you'll just end up being run ragged your whole life by your anger and emotions, and then one fine day you'll keel over and drop dead.  Let's try and avoid that.  Don't be one of those people who is constantly scowling and in a state of anger because "things aren't working out the way they'd like".

What I like to do next when the heat is on heavy, is to "slow down".

Be more deliberate.  Take more breaks.  Be more systematic.  Be more careful.

And also, another key thing that helps, is to breathe.  Take slow, full breaths, and try to smile at the silliness of it all.  It's critical to have clarity-of-thinking during these times, and that won't happen if you buy into the hyperventilating nonsense and panic everyone else is generating.

Ever see what happens to an anthill if you happen to disturb it with your foot?  The ants go into freakazoido-chicken-with-head-cut-off mode for a few minutes until they settle down.  Obviously, we want to avoid that.

Generally, most of these situations in hindsight turn out to be minor blips on the big radar screen anyway, so let everyone else get all wrapped around the axle...you don't have to.

Comments

[Yummy]

Another interesting post!
I am one of those hyper people who sometimes spaz out when excitement happens. Oddly, if others around me are reacting with panic, I am calm.
I guess I just enjoy being contrary...haha!
Have a great weekend!